Archive for the ‘Arachnids’ Category
Stephen Colbert, beacon of white, yesterday you used tarantulas to demonstrate how uncomfortable it is to talk about race in America. Stephen, if you remember, on December 14 I challenged you to open 2009 the same way God started the world, with a serpent. But here you are almost three months later covering yourself in spiders (no doubt imported from Mexico under NAFTA) when all around you are good old American metaphors for the taking up of. Why don’t you use some of those good old American (South Carolinian) okeetee corn snakes to talk about something people really feel uncomfortable about, like sex. Sex sells alot better than race and what man isn’t empowered by a python around his neck. Stephen, step up and let America hear your black snake moan…
The Colbert ReportMon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The worst job at Strictly Reptiles is not feeding the cobras, or bagging the crocodile monitors. It is cupping bird-eating tarantulas. To do it, some employees wear masks and long-sleeve shirts. They tape their cuffs and shirt collars closed because tarantulas turn around and spray nictating hairs as a defense. My first day doing it, one spider sent Mike Van Nostrand to the hospital for a scratched cornea.